When the Body Says No

This week a new Breast Diagnostic Assessment Unit was officially opened at the hospital where I work. It provides a facility where digital mammography, ultrasound and biopsies can be done efficiently at one site. Until now, a woman (or man) could wait three or four weeks for results of a breast biopsy, undoubtedly a very stressful delay.

While dignitaries gave speeches and staff dressed in bright pink looked on, I thought about the many people who will be referred to this unit in the months and years ahead. My family history puts me at higher risk for developing this disease, and my three daughters have a positive history on both sides of the family. I am sure that every reader of this post knows someone with cancer. As deaths from infectious diseases have decreased in the past 50 years, the proportion of deaths from cancer has risen. Many cancers can be linked to environmental and genetic risks, but what is more uncertain is the trigger that causes the abnormal cells that we all have to multiply in an uncontrolled manner.

Another group of illnesses that has increased dramatically in recent years is autoimmune disease. For some reason, the immune system attacks its own tissues, seeing them as an invader to the body. This is a large group including rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and other connective tissue diseases, type one diabetes, multiple sclerosis, ALS, and similar degenerative neurological disorders.

A few years ago I read a book written by Gabor Mate, a Canadian palliative care physician from Vancouver. When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress explores the idea that stress and repressed emotions are triggers for the development of cancer and chronic diseases. Dr. Mate gives many case histories of people who have hidden their painful pasts, or who have lived a lifetime unable to say "NO" to the wishes and demands of others. We can push beyond our emotional limits, but at some point, the body will break down and demand that we take a break.
We all know intuitively that this is true, but it is a difficult thesis to prove scientifically. It is often easier to recognize these traits in others than in ourselves.

I met a lady who has severe autoimmune disease and a recent diagnosis of cancer. She was a highly anxious person, relying on Ativan to get her through her day. I was working with her recently and she said,

"I don't want to disappoint anyone. I have always tried to please everyone."

She was doing strengthening exercises to please her daughter, who daily chides her about not working hard enough to get better. Women are especially prone to making efforts to keep everything together, and aiming to please everyone at the same time. They also suffer from autoimmune diseases at a much higher rate than men do.

I heard Dr. Mate speak at a book reading, and was impressed with his presentation. His book is worth reading, and I have recognized the truth in what he says over and over again in my patients. I have tried to re-evaulate my priorities and responses to stress and have talked to my daughters about their own self care.

We tend to admire and commend people who are extraordinarily involved in work and volunteering, people who seldom complain or take time for themselves. These people are often unable to decline any request for help and are over-involved to their own detriment. This is not an argument for selfishness, but for a balance and honesty that will ultimately lead to healthier, happier and more productive lives.

Friday Flowers: Bloodroot

It was hard to decide which flower to feature for this week. After months of almost no outdoor blooms, I enjoyed seeing several new wildflowers and garden flowers this week. The warm weather of the past few days encouraged the plants to make up for lost time in this late coming spring, and my garden forsythia, daffodils and hyacinths are at their peak.
One of the showiest wildflowers of the early spring is the Bloodroot (Sanguinaria canadensis).

There are masses of them around the hospital and smaller patches along the river flood plain. The delicate flowers are a member of the poppy family. The flowers open before the foliage and the single, large lobed leaf is wrapped around the stem like a blanket as it emerges.

Emerging blooms wrapped in a single leaf

The blooms have eight to twelve petals and the flower is open in the sun but closes at night. The stem and root has a reddish sap which was used as a dye by Native Americans. It has also been used in herbal remedies, but the plant juices are toxic and cause death if taken internally.

I have a corner of my yard dedicated to wild flowers and ferns. I was very tempted to remove some Bloodroot from the bush and plant it in my garden. I found this information on the plant with advice in how to raise it.

No woodland garden is complete without a bloodroot colony. The early white flowers are followed by bold, green leaves, which will persist through most of the growing season. They can be transplanted at any time and will grow in most soils but are best moved when the much expanded leaf is dying down.

Plant them in scattered plantings where the roots will not be disturbed, and pretty much forget them. They will continue to flower and produce seed every year, thereby increasing the size of the colony each year. The plant seems immune to insect and disease attack if well situated in the shade garden.

Bloodroot grows best in a sheltered woodland with bright sun in the early spring and shade when the leaves come out on the hardwood trees. It transplants easily, propagates readily, and if once established will make delightful patches in a few years. This plant is almost always found in colonies.

Plants SHOULD NOT be removed from natural habitats, unless the locality is in danger of destruction or has an over abundance of plants. It's better to obtain the seeds, which have a good germination rate, or to buy plants from a reputable nursery. (source)

We have had heavy rain the past two days. I stopped in the bush at noon yesterday and noticed that the Bloodroot flowers were almost finished, the petals covering the ground beneath the enlarging leaves. How fortunate I was to have seen their brief peak of spring beauty.

Post Script~I posted this and then read Jennifer's latest post in A Passion for Nature about wildflowers. Take a look!

I Hope

Tree in bloom along the river last evening

Mom was looking through my bookshelf while she was visiting and showed me a volume of poetry she had received from her mother on November 3, 1943. She was eleven years old and was in Toronto General Hospital for a tonsillectomy at the time. The book, Aunt Hattie's Place, was written by a Canadian poet, Edna Jacques. She wrote poems about nature, home, the World War and various people, with simple language that demonstrated her love of beauty and virtue. I particularly liked this poem.

Lungwort in bloom. I got this from Grandma's garden over 20 years ago

I Hope

I hope that I shall never get
So old, that pinks or mignonette
Will fail to stir within my veins
Some answering call- or April rains
Washing down azure skies will bring
No quickening rapture of the spring.

I hope that I shall never see
Pale blossoms bursting on a tree
With jaded eyes...or fail to catch
My breath in wonder at a hatch
Of chickens with small pointed bills
Yellow as April daffodils.

And little fir trees lifting up
Pale hands towards the sky's blue cup,
And old folks with their dim old eyes
Looking toward the sunset skies,
Life's loveliness...work...laughter...tears,
Giving me beauty through the years.

Becka and Dakota look over the river

Beaver Tales

The beaver attained official status as an emblem of Canada on March 24, 1975. This large rodent was central to the fur trade in this country and it was trapped almost to extinction in the 18th and 19th centuries requiring protection in the 1930's. Our nickel bears the image of this industrious little animal.

I am used to seeing muskrats along the river, but this past weekend we noticed a much larger mammal swimming towards us in a pond on the flood plain of the Grand River. It was the first time I had seen a beaver close up in the wild. I have seen many beaver lodges and dams in northern Ontario, but have not seen the architects and inhabitants of them.
This beaver was not concerned about our presence a few feet from the edge of the bank where (s)he climbed out of the water. After taking a few pictures, we walked towards the river and then noticed the beaver lodge. This one is smallish, rather messy and is built on the edge of the pond. Often the lodge is built right in the water. A dam had been built across a small creek adjacent to this pond.

From the size of this tree that was just taken down, it looks as if the beaver is preparing for some spring renovations.

Recently, some beavers were caught making a dam across a creek in the city, on the grounds of one of our universities. Their activity was considered dangerous to humans and the beavers were trapped and killed, angering many of our citizens. The beavers here have wisely chosen a conservation area for their home and are not likely to be evicted.

I read about these animals in Paul Rezendes's book, Tracking and the Art of Seeing. In his chapter on the beaver he writes,

"The beaver has been of great benefit to many wildlife species across North America, as well as to the environment itself. Beaver ponds are important water storage systems, slowing and trapping runoff and releasing it gradually. The silt-laden water slows down in the pond, releasing the heavier particles so the water is clearer downstream, and plant communities established in the sediment help to stabilize the flood plain..."

He also explains how the ponds create a new ecosystem and a place for water birds to feed and rest.

The beaver is no longer endangered here in Canada, but its greatest enemy remains man, who would prefer alter the environment in his own way and dispose of any challenger.

Moving On

A traveler came upon an old farmer hoeing in his field beside the road. Eager to rest his feet, the wanderer hailed the countryman, who seemed happy enough to straighten his back and talk for a moment.

"What sort of people live in the next town?" asked the stranger.

"What were the people like where you've come from?" replied the farmer, answering the question with another question.

"They were a bad lot. Troublemakers all, and lazy too. The most selfish people in the world, and not a one of them to be trusted. I'm happy to be leaving the scoundrels."

"Is that so?" replied the old farmer. "Well, I'm afraid that you'll find the same sort in the next town.

Disappointed, the traveler trudged on his way, and the farmer returned to his work.

Some time later another stranger, coming from the same direction, hailed the farmer, and they stopped to talk. "What sort of people live in the next town?" he asked.

"What were the people like where you've come from?" replied the farmer once again.

"They were the best people in the world. Hard working, honest, and friendly. I'm sorry to be leaving them."

"Fear not," said the farmer. "You'll find the same sort in the next town." (Source)

Our interim pastor retold this North American folk tale yesterday in his sermon. He was talking about people who are easily offended and who go on to develop a cynical, critical and unforgiving spirit. Our pastor is a very wise man and has suffered much in his life, from the death of a young son to cancer to the current suffering he is going through with his own cancer battle. We can choose how we respond to the good and the inevitable bad that will happen on our lives. Some become fearful and depressed, others critical and angry, while others remain optimistic, forgiving and loving. (see Ginger's post today!) The geriatric unit I work on admits many patients suffering from depression at the end of their lives. Some are tormented by regret, perhaps over affairs they have had, or broken family relationships due to unforgiveness. How sad to come to the end of life with unresolved conflict and pain.

I knew a man who was given six months to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He was a hard man, critical and unloving, feared by his children and a friend of few. He tried so hard to mend relationships in his last months, asking forgiveness and trying to right a lifetime of wrongs. While I commended his efforts, they were not enough to undo the harm of his actions throughout the years, especially in his children. They will carry the scars of their harsh upbringing and perhaps pass them on for generations to come.

Not everyone gets a six month notice of death. I want to live each day without regret, with love and forgiveness and optimism, looking for the best in the people I see every day.

Sparrows can be hard to ID

Two birds are in the above picture.
The bird in the top right corner seems to have
a central breast spot,
but that is not as obvious in the picture below.

I saw these sparrows near the river today in some brush. They were quite small and hopped about in the low branches and ground. I have pored over my bird guides and the internet and cannot find a good match. I thought I had a Song Sparrow in the previous post, but these birds were smaller and had more distinct markings.

Earth Day Mini Bioblitz 2007

The Song Sparrow performed a special concert this morning

I did not register for the Blogger Bioblitz due to a lack of expertise and time. In the spirit of the event, I decided to spend one hour in the old landfill site recording the more obvious and slightly hidden things around me. I chose not to wade through the vernal pools or turn over logs and stones looking for insects. We have had warm weather with temperatures around 20C the last three days. Because of the very cold weather during most of April, the plants and trees are a little behind schedule.

I picked a small corner of the field that included a vernal pool, meadow, and a small deciduous bush, containing mainly oak and maple trees. Houses, malls and roads surround this entire area in the suburbs of our city. I went out from 9:15 until 10:15 in the morning with my trusty assistant, Dakota. I have spent a number of hours in the area this spring and knew where to look for a variety of birds.

I have seen where the Kildeer are nesting, but if I hadn't, it would heve been hard to find them today as they hid in the grass.
Here is the list of birds, animals and plants I identified.

Red-winged Blackbird 20+, Kildeer 2, American Robin 20+, Canada Goose 4, Starling 5, Mallard Duck 4, Common Grackle 2, Downy Woodpecker 1, Song Sparrow 2, Brown headed Cowbird 1, House Sparrow 20+, Brown Creeper 1, Eastern Phoebe 2, American Kestrel 1, Chickadee 1, Gold crowned Kinglet 2, Cedar Waxwing 4, Northern Cardinal 2, American Goldfinch 4, Dark eyed Junco 1, Red tailed hawk 1, House finch 4, Crow 2, Mourning Dove 3.

We also discovered
Groundhog 1, Cottontail rabbit 1, Grey Squirrel 2, Black Squirrel 1, Field mouse 1, Garter snake 1

Dakota found the snake and I am very pleased that I did not panic and was able to take a picture of it at fairly close range. (well, with a little zoom!) It seems my snake phobia may be decreasing with my understanding of their place in this little ecosystem. If the dog had not seen the snake, I may have been startled by stepping on it as it blended in so well with the dead grasses.
There were very few flying insects. As we returned home I saw three dragonflies. This afternoon there are swarms of flying insects in our yard that were not around earlier in the day.

Green shoots were coming through dead grass and leaves and I did not try to identify them. The city had seeded the entire site with grass over 25 years ago, but native species now dominate the meadow. The bush had many Trout Lilies starting to poke above the ground and there were a couple of Trillium shoots as well. I know this area has an abundance of Trillium blooms in May.

The vernal pools are shrinking rapidly as we have not had a lot of rain or snow this month. I believe these are Spotted Salamander eggs. I noticed plenty of bubbles in the shallow water as gases escaped from the frost free ground. I don't know if this is normal in swamps, or if this is caused from methane created by the garbage below this site. I did take a movie of the bubbling and will post it if I can figure out how to do it.

While I saw nothing unusual, I was surprised at the length of the list compiled in such a short time, so early in our spring season here in South Western Ontario. I look forward to reading about the findings of more experienced naturalists as they participate in the Bioblitz.

Friday Flowers: Jenny's Orchids

These beautiful orchids were given to a patient of mine as a gift this Easter. I paid little attention to the many orchids for sale in the stores this past month as they were expensive and tattered looking. This plant was beautiful and fresh and gave Jenny such pleasure. I know very little about orchids. Julie Zickefoose has written a couple of posts about them this week and if you want to learn about more, follow this link and this link.

My real Friday Flower is Jenny. This lovely lady has been in the hospital for six months now recovering from an accident that left both her legs badly broken. She had extensive surgery and has had a variety of appliances and casts on her legs. At the end of last week she was finally given the go ahead by her surgeon to start putting weight on her legs. We helped her stand for the first time on Monday and each day small gains are being made towards learning to walk again. Jenny is used to being active and independent and is interested in flowers and gardening. I think I would be far less patient than she is, watching spring arrive and being unable to enjoy walking and working in the fresh air.

Spring is a time of rebirth and regeneration. Our bodies have a tremendous capacity for repair, especially after injuries to bones and muscles. Determination and a positive attitude can unlock a healing potential that often surprises me.

This post is a get well wish for Jenny, a wish that hastens the day when she can walk out of the hospital and returns to the life she left last fall. If anyone can do it, she can!