Blog Migration to "The Other Side of Sixty-Five"

I started this blog in 2006 and over the next several years, chronicled my journey through life on a personal and spiritual level. The next 15 years brought many external changes and I changed as well. How unnatural it would be if maturity did not bring any transition, preferably growth over decay!

My mother was the biggest fan of my first blog and when she died in 2013, it became more difficult to motivate myself to write and share. Blogging had been largely displaced by quick shares of a few words or pictures on other social media platforms. Our collective attention spans had shrunk to absorbing only mini-bytes of information at a time, often without critical thinking or verification.

My milestone birthday was in the first month of 2020 and no one had any idea at that time how the world would be altered a few short weeks later. I was preparing to retire and had a mental image of what the next few years would look like, visiting our grandchildren, travelling, and volunteering. The events of the past 11 months are unprecedented in my years, but life for me has been rewarding and replete with new learning and perspective. For that I am very thankful.

I have started a new blog called The Other Side of Sixty-Five. Feel free to visit as I continue my journey.

Looking for Stateswomen and Statesmen

Statesman -noun, a person who is experienced in the art of government or versed in the administration of government affairs. a person who exhibits great wisdom and ability in directing the affairs of a government or in dealing with important public issues.

I am pretty sure my family always voted Conservative but other than my uncle’s occasional rants about  Bill Davis’ provincial Conservative party (Davis was Premier of Ontario from 1971-1985), I remember little political discourse in our family. My dad once told me that Protestants voted Conservative and Catholics voted Liberal, but he kept his own choices a secret away from the ballot box. 

I have voted for every main party at one time or another in federal and provincial elections and have never identified strongly and consistently with any party. My leaning is “left centrist”, but after careful consideration, I try to vote for who I think would be the best local candidate and who would make the best leader. In the past I expected that my local MP or MPP would present their personal values as well as the concerns of their constituents in the legislature. Today, our representatives must vote along party lines, even if they do not agree with a policy, or be booted out of caucus. In my opinion, that is not how democracy should work.

My grandma always said that if a married couple never had a disagreement that one of them had to be stupid. She observed that intelligent people will have different viewpoints and opinions. How boring life would be if we all agreed on everything and had nothing to debate. We look at things from different personal, generational and cultural points of view. Differences of opinion and conflicts happen in the home, work place, schools, churches, as well as in the political arena. 

A couple of years ago I faced a work place conflict that escalated to the point where management became involved. A meeting was called and while I was confident that there was no wrong-doing on my part, the situation was very stressful. I read the book Crucial Conversations- Tools for Talking when the Stakes are High and took notes on how to approach the problem. I had to put myself in my co-worker’s shoes and step away from any defensive anger to come to a resolution. It was important to present some positive solutions without attacking the character of the other person. The meeting went far better than I could have imagined the issue was resolved. (I highly recommend this book!)

It is disheartening to see the polarization of social, economic and political ideology in many countries today. Angry accusations and personal attacks are the norm and people feel they need to put others down in order to promote themselves. We are bombarded with opinions and rumours online and it takes time to research and contemplate an issue from various angles. I believe most people are moderate and reasonable, but the voices at both ends of the political spectrum can be very, very loud. People will take sides on highly polarized issues, refusing to listen to each other or debate in a civil manner.

Will Durant, historian, philosopher and co-author of The Story of Civilization wrote, 

"A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself within.” 

Observing the turmoil in Great Britain, United States and other western countries, one can see how internal fighting is destructive to a nation’s socio-economic strengths and freedoms. Canada, as a large and diverse nation is not immune from partisan politics. No leader or party is perfect but I have hope that as a nation, in this election year, we can put aside vindictive and hateful rhetoric and negotiate respectful solutions for the present and future. That being said, I will not vote for any person or party, or follow anyone on social media who promotes personal attacks. But I welcome a good debate and love to participate in lively discussions about a variety of issues that we may never agree on completely. 

The Passage of Time

Six years ago I sat with our mother during her last night on earth. In some ways it seems like yesterday but in other ways the passage of time is very real. Our father is living with significant cognitive and physical challenges and each day in itself is an eternity for him. There are three new great-grandchildren who will never know her but two baby girls carry her name. 

The Queen of England is 93 years old today. Our mother, born six years later, was also named Elizabeth and the Princess was her girlhood role model. Mom carried herself with style and grace, just like the Queen and many others of that generation. She dreamed of living an active, healthy life into her 90’s. 

I roamed around meadows, ponds and streams today thinking about Mom and wondering if she has a window into our world. We humans imagine many things about the after life that bring us solace and comfort but there is no way of knowing the timelines of eternity.

Today is Resurrection Sunday. Our pastor preached from 1 Corinthians 15, the great (mystical) resurrection chapter of the New Testament. 

There are plenty of questions in the chapter and Paul’s answers are riddle-like to me. 

But someone may ask, "How will the dead be raised? What kind of bodies will they have?"

Paul says,

What a foolish question! 

(I don’t think it is a foolish question)

When you put a seed into the ground, it doesn’t grow into a plant unless it dies first. 

And what you put in the ground is not the plant that will grow, 

but only a bare seed of wheat or whatever you are planting. 

Then God gives it the new body he wants it to have. 

A different plant grows from each kind of seed....

It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. 

Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. 

Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. 

They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. 

They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies.

1 Cor 15:35-39, 42-44a

Well, I understand seeds and I understand spring and when I am outdoors I feel my closest connection to God. Spring time is a yearly object lesson of resurrection from death. We count the passage of time on earth by seasons but we cannot fathom time on the other side of death.

Between the anniversary of Mom’s passing…April 22 (which is also Earth Day)...

to her birthday on May 5th.... 

and Mother’s Day a few days later…

Spring will unfold in extravagant beauty. And that gives me hope for eternity. 

Groundhog Day Adventures

Housebound!

I decided a trip to the Ottawa area would be the best way to celebrate my end-of-January birthday so with a coupon, the senior’s discount and “cheap Tuesday” sale, I landed a ticket price with VIA Rail that was much cheaper than driving the distance in my car. As it turned out, the weather was bitterly cold and we were hit with a snowstorm the night before I left. Strangely enough, south-western Ontario was colder than Ottawa all week which is very unusual. But Ottawa has a lot more accumulated snow with treacherous ice under that snow!

Much as I love the outdoors, this was not a week for walking trails or river sides or city sidewalks or parking lots. It was not a week to drive around rural roads looking for owls or raptors. So in spite of sunny skies, we stayed indoors most of the time. Life is not boring with a toddler underfoot and my week was full of love and joy!

My return home on the train started with yet another Ottawa snow fall which made the drive to the station challenging. No groundhog in the Ottawa Valley saw its shadow yesterday which supposedly forecasts an early spring. I wouldn’t bet any money on that though!

The train arrived on time and headed toward Toronto uneventfully until we passed Kingston. Due to an earlier accident on the line that resulted in a fuel spill, all subsequent train traffic was slowed almost to a halt. I had a connection time of over 100 minutes in Toronto for my next train but in the end we were almost 3 hours late. Shared misfortune brings a certain camaraderie and the train car was abuzz with conversation. Four women travelling together were headed for a Toronto airport to catch an early evening flight to Iceland where they hoped to see the Aurora Borealis. They received all kinds of advice and encouragement from fellow passengers even though it was unlikely that they would catch their plane.

VIA Rail did the best they could to accommodate the inconvenienced travellers. My connecting train waited for the passengers coming from Ottawa and Montreal. We received a voucher for 50% off our next trip. It was warm and comfortable on the train unlike a long delay on the highway in your car.

On the last leg of my journey, an elderly man sat beside me. He boarded the train in Moncton NB over 36 hours earlier and was also caught in the mishap on his way from Montreal to Toronto. I had a choice of burying my face in my iPad or engaging in conversation with him. I was glad I chose the conversation option.

He shared the highlights of his humble but joyful 83 year journey on earth. Growing up poor in a rural, French-speaking community in New Brunswick, he left for Ontario and worked on the roads laying asphalt for many years. He bought 70 acres of land in New Brunswick 30 years ago for $1700 and built a small house where he has lived alone since retirement. He chops his own wood and has a large vegetable garden. He gives away the fresh food he cannot use to his neighbours and they return the favour in food gifts and friendship. He had a significant stroke a few years ago that left him with some right-sided weakness but he returned to full independent living except for the cane he needs for walking. He drives his car and meets friends daily at Tim Hortons or McDonalds. He was coming to my city for a few weeks to catch up with friends he made while he worked here for over 40 years.

I couldn’t help myself from secretly assessing him for signs of frailty and cognitive decline. In spite of his lack of education, he was mentally alert and very robust. I love observing people who age well!

He enjoyed a positive outlook, a supportive community, social contacts, regular physical activity, acceptance of his limitations, and pleasure in the small things of life. And he didn’t complain once about the train delay. We disembarked at the same station where freezing rain was falling. We both made it safely off the platform and to our respective rides.

Goodbye Raymond, and thank you for your lesson on community and friendship.

Community Spirit by Peter Etril Snyder
Use of image granted by the niece of the artist Cynthia Weber who holds the copyright to his body of work

Description of the above picture from The Record

"Peter Etril Snyder painted "Community Spirit," in 2011 inspired by a photo published in The Record.
It was the final painting in a series he created as a fundraiser for KidsAbility, his charity of choice.
At the time he wrote, "I wanted to create a historical neighbourhood-themed Christmas painting. What can be more Canadian than shovelling snow. Including the little guys on the porch added to the idea of the community joyfully working together."
"I've had a charmed life," he said in 2009.
Snyder died in 2017, but his lifetime achievement remains, reminding us that we are surrounded by the beauty of community."

Link to the Snyder Gallery

Full Wolf Blood Moon Total Eclipse

It was exciting to watch the full moon eclipse tonight under clear, cold skies. Being relatively close to the Great Lakes, we generally have more days and nights with at least some cloud than without. The temperature is very cold but it could be colder in mid-January. This moon comes with plenty of labels. As well as being a Wolf Moon, it is a Perigee Moon (super moon), a Blood Moon as well as a totally eclipsed moon. I don't plan to stay up to watch the reverse show as the moon returns to its full brightness in a couple of hours.

Postscript: I did another edit in the morning with my best shots. Photos are hand held with a Canon SX50 superzoom camera.

Winter Solstice

After six months of shortening days, we make a U-turn and enjoy the gradual lengthening of daylight hours. The change is barely noticeable at first but by mid-January the longer days make a difference.

There are numerous holidays around the world that celebrate light. We live about 90 minutes from Niagara Falls, Ontario where there is a Winter Festival of Lights from early November until the end of January. Several kilometers of light displays run from the Rainbow Bridge to Dufferin Islands along with the usual lights on the American and Canadian Falls. It really is a winter wonderland at night and worth visiting if you are in the area.

A natural light show tonight is hidden by a thick cloud cover courtesy of a storm system that brought a lot of rain yesterday and today. The full Cold Moon, a meteor shower and seven planets will appear over the next eight hours.

We are indoors with candles burning and tree lights brightening the room. I made a double chocolate yule log to celebrate this special day as we begin our journey to summer.

The Basis of Belief

What do you see when you look at this picture? If ten people wrote a story about it, there would be ten very different accounts.

• A groom or horseman may focus on the horse, analyzing its health, gait and performance.
• A sulky driver would notice the cart and harness.
• A farmer would see the horse in a different light than a race horse owner.
• An Old Order Mennonite would notice the distinctive hats and clothing of various sects of their faith.
• A shopper would recognize the market setting.
• A local resident may know the context of the picture and be familiar with the event that is in progress.

I listened to an interesting interview on the CBC Radio One show The Current. James E. Alcock discussed his book Belief: What It Means to Believe and Why Our Convictions Are So Compelling.

The introduction to the book states,
"This book explores the psychology of belief - how beliefs are formed, how they are influenced both by internal factors, such as perception, memory, reason, emotion, and prior beliefs, as well as external factors, such as experience, identification with a group, social pressure, and manipulation. It also reveals how vulnerable beliefs are to error, and how they can be held with great confidence even when factually false."

I shared a post last month titled Retelling a Story where I discussed how people see events in unique ways. I can be impatient with people who hold views I feel are inaccurate or untrue. I get annoyed with those who share biased or sensationalized information online. Rather than remaining perpetually upset, I went off Facebook and blocked people on email who frequently sent memes. Many of my family and acquaintances are conservative in politics and belief while I lean liberal in comparison. I disagree with many things that others hold as indisputable truth. 

This discussion on belief got me thinking that I should not be so harsh with people who see things differently than myself. I am not perfect. My perspective of life is based on six decades of living, a career that requires analytical and objective proofs, the privilege of education, travel and a stable, middle-class lifestyle in a first world country. Every person has unique life experiences and influences. Many people align with a group, giving unquestioned allegiance because belonging can be more important socially than looking for truth.

I remember when election campaigns were positive, without attack ads and smear tactics. Negative campaigning gained popularity in the last 30 to 40 years and I feel that social civility has declined, especially as we communicate with people who have a different belief systems than ourselves. The American political scene is very disturbing to me and I cannot understand why so many people stand behind a deceitful, lying leader. I read a few books this year that opened my eyes to the social history and experiences of many Trump supporters. I wouldn't recommend buying all of these books (*listed at the end of this post), but if they are available in a library they are worth reading. 

Can we accept people who have different outlooks, granting them courtesy and respect as we hear their point of view? We should be open to listening to the perspectives and opinions of others and try to understand where they are coming from. Parents need to pass essential values to their children and grandchildren as well as a sense of their family history. Parenting is an important task and our children need a good moral base. But life in the 21st century is far different from my formative years in the last half of the 20th century. I do not want my children to be personal clones but desire that they will be able to discern, be critical, ask questions, make their own mistakes, and eventually come to their own conclusions without fear of reprisal on my part.

There are people who flaunt their opinions loudly and obnoxiously without regard for anyone but themselves. We need to stand up to bullies who mistreat vulnerable people. But I believe most people can discuss different viewpoints and experiences with self control and respect, especially if we model respect in return.

 

The pictures in this post were taken at the September horse auction at St. Jacobs' Farmers Market in Waterloo, Ontario. I can guarantee that the memories of this event will be different for the two older men than it will be for the two young boys observing from their perch on a round bales of hay. Even in this very conservative group, experience, external factors and perceptions will continue shape the beliefs and values of upcoming generations.

*Books:

• Hillbilly Elegy -J.D. Vance
• White Rage- Carol Anderson
• White Trash: The 400 year untold history of class in America- Nancy Isenberg
• The Righteous Mind: Why good people are divided by politics and religion- Jonathan Haidt

A 2018 Resolution Kept!

My main resolution for 2018 was to read one book a week. I have always loved books but my computer and social media usage had gradually increased until I was hardly reading at all. I use the Kindle app on my iPad but the temptation to check emails, look something up on Wikipedia or check Twitter was always there. I dusted off my old Kindle device that has no browser and started visiting the public library more frequently. 

Initially, it seemed that my attention span for reading had decreased and I struggled to finish a regular length novel. Had the internet made my brain adjust to short articles and 280 character tweets? Eventually I was able to read in the evening without multitasking or falling asleep. 

I enjoy electronic book readers but studies show that turning the pages of a real book improves comprehension. Our 13 month old granddaughter loves her book shelf and asks for "book" when she wants someone to read to her. Familiar words and sounds delight her and she is very definite in regards to her favourite books. She can turn the pages and is starting to track pictures and words from left to right. When holding a book, she can tell when she is at the beginning, middle or end of the story. An ebook does not give that tactile feedback. 

As of today, I have read 48 books and will easily finish 52 books by the end of the month. I read many non-fiction books including several uninspiring biographies and 'tell-alls' about American politicians. There are many trendy self-help books available as well.

I enjoy historical fiction, mysteries and stories about coping with illness and death. My most recent book was The Great Alone which is listed by Goodreads as the best historical fiction of 2018. I had to chuckle when the story opened in 1974 and ended in 1986. The main character in the novel was born in 1961. This is my generation and it looks like we are already have a historical designation.

Here are some of my favourite books and authors from this year’s reading.

Lane Winslow Mysteries - Iona Whishaw 🍁

I read the entire series which offered a little world history, a little Canadiana and a little mystery and romance. It is set in British Columbia after WW2.

Gilead- Marilynn Robinson

This is a  beautifully written and compelling multigenerational story. I read Robinson's other books too, but this was the best of the trilogy. 

Feeding my Mother- Jan Arden 🍁

Jan Arden's book about caring for her mother who has Alzheimers Disease is moving and funny, just like Jan.

The Lacuna- Barbara Kingsolver

I have read all of Kingsolver's books over the years and enjoy her style very much. The Lacuna is historical fiction about artists Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo and the Mexico of their time.

The Great Alone- Kristin Hannah

I am waiting for her other best-seller The Nightingale to come available at the library. The author has written 20 books. I read this book in one sitting into the wee hours of the morning. 

Blue Nights- Joan Didion

How did I not know about Joan Didion before 2018??

The End of Religion- Bruxy Cavey 🍁

I find the teaching of this Canadian Anabaptist pastor to be thought-provoking and challenging

The Stone Angel- Margaret Laurence 🍁

I hated this book when I had to read it in high school but now I think it is brilliant.

I am always open to new book suggestions as my resolution for 2019 will be to continue reading one book a week.

Wishes or Hope

One of my daughters teaches English as a second language to adults at a community college. She said the subtle difference between the words “hope” and “wish” are difficult to convey to her students in denotation and connotation.

I wish...

I could turn back the clock

I looked like him/her

I was successful like him/her

I had a new car

it would stop raining

I had a better job

I had enough money to retire

I hope…

the world will be a good place for my grand daughter

my car will last a few more years

I can budget my money wisely and save a little each month

I can make a difference in my community

I remain healthy as I care for my body

I can take a trip to ________ soon

I can pass along good spiritual values to my family

We can spend a lot of time passively wishing for things that are unlikely or impossible to happen. Some people expect God to act like a genie in a bottle who grants their wishes miraculously on demand. On the other hand, we can work toward fulfilling our hopes and dreams for things that realistically could happen. The human spirit needs hope and we are inspired by stories of people who persevered through difficulty to achieve their goals. 

Negative attitudes destroy hope. As I get older I need to encourage younger generations and act in ways that show that I believe in their future. Am I doing my best to care for the earth, to be relevant with my beliefs rather than looking back to “the good old days”? Some have lost hope due to abuse, loss, poverty, social pressure, depression or other illnesses. How can I make a difference in my community to help those in need?

Advent is a season of waiting and hope. Proverbs 13:12 says,

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” 

Let us work to help make someone’s longing a reality. 

Retelling a Story

Humans are innate story tellers. From oral histories that are shared around a community campfire to stories on television, in print, on social media and other internet platforms, we continue this tradition.

My mother wrote an autobiography a couple of years before she died. She worked diligently on it but did not collaborate with the rest of the family as she recorded the highlights of her life. When the book was published, there was a reaction of disbelief and shock from myself and some of my brothers as in several instances, the story she told was not the story we remembered. One of my brothers was indifferent to our protests and commented that it was Mom’s story and that is how she saw her life.

I agreed to press coverage of my recent hip replacement as it was the first, same day discharge for the hospital. I received a page of questions for the initial press release which I completed and emailed to the press officer. She sent the draft story to me and I was surprised by the focus of the article as well as the way my words were misquoted. I kept a copy of the answers that I submitted and challenged the author on her interpretation of what was said. We did come to a consensus and the published story was adequate but superficial and told in a voice other than my own.

Last week my surgeon and I were interviewed by the local CTV television station. The reporter was very professional and put us at ease. The recorded interviews likely totalled 7 to 10 minutes and the surgeon’s comments were particularly articulate and insightful. When the story was featured on the six o’clock news, the entire segment, including the reporter’s comments was three minutes long. The story was accurate but bare-boned and, in my opinion, the best of my surgeon’s comments were edited out.

After my mom’s book was published, a brother said he would never read any biography or autobiography in the same way again. My recent interactions with the press remind me that a video news clip, newspaper article or 280 character tweet will never capture the whole story but is written for the target audience. The emotional side of a story is more compelling more than a factual, objective version.

I was taught to believe that the Bible was the inerrant word of God with every detail accurate and factual because men were inspired to write under divine direction. Most scriptures began as oral traditions retold over centuries to cultures very different from our first world cultures today. The gospels were written decades after the events they describe and are contradictory at times. Story retelling in scripture reflected the authors' memories and the message they wished to relay to their specific audience. We deceive ourselves if we believe otherwise. 

What can we believe? Is my mother’s book or any other biography deceptive? Was the reporting on my surgery accurate and honest? Is the Bible true? What about the news we read and see every day?

My favourite section of the newspaper is the editorial page. I enjoy reading thoughtful analyses of news stories. I seek these types of articles online as well. A well written editorial, while an opinion piece, will discuss various perspectives and provide insight into complex topics. I try to read news from the least biased sites while avoiding memes and click bait on social media. 

Story telling is an art and will always contain biases. That is not a problem as long as we recognize the context of what we see and hear and understand the story teller’s objective for their target audience.

Here is a link to the news clip about my surgery. The story written in my voice is quite different in focus and detail. 

1918-2018 Lest We Forget

My grandparents lived through two world wars. My paternal grandfather turned 14 in 1918. He came to Canada from Amsterdam in the early 1920’s as a young man. Several members of his extended family died as civilians during the world wars in Europe.

My maternal grandparents attended medical school at the University of Toronto during World War 1 in the graduating class of 1918. Grandma graduated as a doctor in 1918 but my grandfather graduated in 1919 because he served in the medical reserves for a year.

My husband’s father was born in August 1918. The Spanish Flu hit his community hard in October and November of the same year and hundreds of people in the region died, many of them young and previously healthy. This plague at the end of the war killed millions world wide as soldiers returned home from Europe.

I heard my family’s stories first hand as I was growing up. The suffering and sacrifices endured by that generation became very real and personal to me unlike other wars I learned about in text books at school. All I remembered about historical conflicts were the dates that we regurgitated on exam papers. 

The living connections to the world wars of the 20th century will soon be gone. Will the children of today and tomorrow remember these wars only as boring history lessons? 

Why do we not learn from the past? We quickly forget how extreme nationalism, racism, economic disparity, greed and unresolved historical grievances caused unprecedented loss of life. 

Sadly I realize that history is repeating itself again. The cycle never ends. There are people who remember and recognize the warning signs. Their voices are often drowned out by leaders and their followers who stoke fear and live without a vision for a peaceful future.

I heard the church bells toll 100 times today at sunset. I hope that the children who heard them ring this evening will learn, understand and commit to pathways of peace.

Bells of Peace -November 11, 2018 in Cambridge ON

A Visit to the 9/11 Memorial

We enjoyed a 5 day vacation in New York City this August. I booked the trip mainly because I wanted to see Come From Away on Broadway and that was a memorable highlight of the trip. I went to NYC with our daughters in 2008 and while some things were little changed, we explored several areas that were new to us. A city this big is impossible to cover in a few days

We spent a morning in the area of the 9/11 Memorial and Museum. The design of the museum, grounds and the adjacent Oculus centre is beautiful and highly symbolic. I saw several visitors expressing raw grief and I wondered at their loss and connection to the site. There were thousands of messages incorporated in the exhibits and they spoke of love, courage, sacrifice, forgiveness, and resilience. The best of human behaviour often shines in times of great loss and one could not help but be moved by the stories that were featured. America appears as a divided, unhinged country from my view in Canada, but we talked with many rational and thoughtful people in Manhattan who do not mirror their leader in attitude or behaviour. 

I will watch the midterm election results with interest tomorrow but whatever the outcome, I will remember with hope the good will that was represented at the memorial. We tend to forget the past so quickly. 

Here are a few pictures of the area. I would highly recommend taking the time to visit New York City. We went on a bus tour that offered some scheduled events as well as daily drop offs in the city which gave us plenty of free time to explore on our own. There were school-aged children in our group and I commend their parents for giving them a good introduction to the city.

Large fountains mark the foundations of the original twin towers. The names of the victims of the attack are inscribed here.

The Survivor Tree, replanted outside the 9/11 memorial, speaks of resilience in the face of adversity. I am carrying a Love is Stronger than Hate tote bag purchased at the museum.

The Oculus houses a transportation hub and the Westfield mall. Tour guides were available to explain the symbolism of the interesting building. 

The windows of the Oculus frame the new WTC tower. The light on the floor shines where the original building fell.

My Day Zero Discharge Post Hip Replacement

I went on a wait list for an elective total hip replacement in October 2017. I had nagging pain in my right hip for about three years and was surprised at the amount of damage shown on X-rays. I was still active and working full time but my surgeon warned me that hip degeneration can progress quickly. I completed a few weeks of physiotherapy treatment in the summer and then reluctantly went on the surgical wait list knowing my turn would not come up for a year.

By April 2018 the hip pain was interfering with my daily activities and sleep. I rapidly lost range of motion in spite of regular exercise and biking and work became more of a challenge. In July 2018 I received a surgical date for September 28, 2018. I arranged for a six month leave of absence starting in mid-September and began counting down the days until the procedure. I continued to exercise as much as possible but my ability to walk recreationally was limited. My routine was work, mat exercises, biking in the evening and then a restless sleep.

On September 27, 2018, I received a phone call from the hospital stating that my surgery the next day was cancelled due to bed shortages. I was devastated! I had discontinued my anti-inflammatory medication a few days before and was in a lot of pain. A new surgical date of October 16 was assigned but it was possible that surgery could be cancelled again. 

A week before the rebooked surgery, I was contacted by a hospital manager who asked if I would be interested in being the first patient at this hospital to try a same day discharge following hip replacement surgery. I knew this was a new initiative at some Toronto hospitals and was eager to be the test patient locally. After a couple of days, the surgical team agreed that I would be a good candidate for a Day #0 discharge and was informally assured that my surgery would not be cancelled again.

A few procedural changes were implemented to make the day a success. My spinal anaesthetic did not contain morphine and I was given a couple of IV boluses to help maintain my blood pressure during early mobilization after surgery. Preoperatively, my nurse calmed me with warm blankets and a reassuring approach rather than using Ativan. I was given the option of being conscious during surgery but left the decision to the surgical team and was sedated. 

Daily walks on my street are now up to 400 m

My surgery was at 8 AM and at 9:30 AM I was awake in the recovery room. Within 30 minutes I was able to move my feet and was transferred to the surgical unit. I walked to the bathroom with supervision at 11 AM and had lunch at noon. So far things were going exceptionally well and I was very confident! In the early afternoon I went up and down a flight of stairs with crutches and took a couple more walks in the room and hallway with a walker. Later in the afternoon I had an episode of low blood pressure while sitting up in a chair but recovered quickly after the nurse helped me back to bed. This is a common but alarming postoperative event that can lead to fainting and falls but it was good to bring my over confidence down a few notches.

I was discharged home at 6 PM and transferred easily into the car with my husband’s help. At home, I had the best sleep in months. My surgeon phoned in the evening to see how I was doing and I had calls from the surgical nurse practitioner the next two days. A home care physiotherapist visited the next morning. 

I am now 17 days post op and am making daily gains in strength and function. The first week had its ups and downs with pain control, but I had support from the surgical team at the hospital and my RN daughter who travelled from Ottawa to be with me for a few days. I am grateful to all my family for being available to me 24 hours a day at first and would not have been successful without them.

I have been a physiotherapist in this community since the mid-1970s and have seen literally thousands of post-operative hip patients, particularly when I worked in the home care sector. Early in my career, patients stayed in hospital for two weeks and went home after their incision healed. They spent the one week on the surgical floor and the second week on the rehab unit. Length of hospital stay for elective hip and knee surgery shortened over time to one week, five days and then one to three days as surgical techniques improved.

My knowledge and experience as a physiotherapist was very helpful of course, but being a joint replacement patient and dealing with pain and medication side effects first hand was a new experience. I am not keen on doing exercises that hurt and need to be encouraged like anyone else. I am attending a physiotherapy clinic as an outpatient because I can not assess myself objectively. I cannot drive for another month and require several months of healing and rehab to achieve my maximum potential. My goal is to return to work.

Wait times for joint replacement surgery have increased significantly in the last year in south-western Ontario and people are now waiting up to 20 months for elective orthopaedic procedures at some hospitals in this region. (Other hospitals in Ontario have much shorter wait times and this information is available online from the Ministry of Health.) My cohorts in the baby boomer generation will increase the numbers of people waiting for joint replacements for many more years. Earlier discharge from hospital after surgery allows for improved bed flow and potentially more surgeries could be accommodated. 

Good preoperative preparation is very important. I attended two clinics before surgery. At the first one a physiotherapist reviewed the equipment I needed and went over my exercises. The second was a medical assessment and teaching with the nurse, pharmacist and anaesthesiologist. It is important to have the right equipment set up at home and to understand your medications before surgery.

I had a followup appointment at the hospital yesterday and am doing very well. I am grateful to an excellent surgeon, the entire surgical team, community partners and my family for making this Day #0 discharge a success! 

Reintroduction

18 months….

• the age difference between me and my eldest brother
• 1/42 of my life in years
• time enough to welcome a beautiful granddaughter who will be 1 year old this month
• a time of waiting for elective orthopaedic surgery
• the length of time that has elapsed since adding a post to this blog

June 2017 was the month I had medical investigations that eventually landed me on a wait list for a total hip replacement. I had the surgery 16 days ago. In Canada's publicly funded health care system people often wait for elective surgical procedures. (It is good to know that urgent medical conditions receive more timely treatment) I was able to function well enough in this period of time to keep working and enjoy family as well as some vacation time this summer. Walking became increasingly painful and it was most comfortable to ride my bike for exercise. I missed birding and trail walking this year. 

This is a season of recovery and I have much to be thankful for. My surgeon told me that hip replacement and cataract surgery are two procedures that add the most quality of life to recipients. In a past generation I would be using a cane and a rocking chair for the rest of my days. 

I have been keeping a hand written journal over the past few years but want to share some thoughts on how life has been evolving lately. Change is challenging but resistance to change stems from an inflexible attitude that hinders new learning. Critical thinking, questioning, contemplating history, and being open to new ideas should not stop at any stage of life. 

And I have the time right now for reflection! 

Insomnia

The waning gibbous moon plays

hide and seek behind thin clouds as

humid mists shroud street lights in the

windless, dark hour before dawn. The

city sleeps

final vivid dreams while robins,

hidden in shadowy trees, start their

morning chorus, the smell of roses heavy 

in the night air. A single dim light

slowly approaches,

the old lady on a scooter scrounging through

garbage bins for hidden treasure while

a neighbour rises to prepare suhoor, crossing

off another short night before the

end of Ramadan.

The waning gibbous moon shines down 

on its journey across the sky as in 

time immortal.


ERK  June 16, 2017 0400h

Eagles and Vultures

On January 1st I wrote a short poem which included this repeating line;-

“Whatever this year may bring I will remember…"

After I wrote it I almost hesitated to complete the post thinking I was tempting fate. But I am not overly superstitious and now recognize those words have grounded me over a few months of turmoil and change. Not that anything completely devastating has happened, but like Solomon wrote, it is often small things growing out of proportion that bring conflict and misunderstanding in our relationships.

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, 

before they ruin the vineyard of love, 

for the grapevines are blossoming!  

Song of Solomon 2:15

I had a few days off work this week and the beauty of the beginning of May has restored and uplifted my spirit. I ventured out to the Nith River, which is flooded and fast-flowing due to recent heavy and frequent rain storms. The Bald Eagles are parents once again and appear to be raising one eaglet this season. They rule their world from the top of a lone pine tree and soar majestically in the sky, taking turns watching their offspring.

A little further down the road I came across a dilapidated shed where seven turkey vultures rested, opening their wings at times to the sunshine. They are similar in size to the Bald Eagles and are graceful in flight. But the differences between the birds are striking.

• Bald Eagles build a large nest high in a tree or cliff. Turkey Vultures do not build nests but lay eggs in caves, crevices, or abandoned buildings.

• Eagles have talons for catching live prey while Vultures have no need of talons or strong feet for their diet of carrion.

• Vultures are communal by nature and hang out in groups. Bald Eagles sometimes roost communally in the winter near a food source but are solitary and territorial most of the year.

• Turkey Vultures have a well developed sense of smell for sourcing food while Bald Eagles rely more on keen eyesight for hunting.

• Vultures lack a syrinx, the vocal organ of birds. They vocalize only with hisses and grunts. The Bald Eagle has a audible call that echoes across the river. Even the young eaglet can emit a loud, repeated single note when it is alone the nest.

• And then there is the head… a majestic, white-feathered head with piercing yellow eyes compared to a homely bald, red head with large olfactory openings.

The diversity of the natural world is not divisive but complementary. Eagles and Vultures each have important roles and one is not more valuable than the other. There are times when dead things need to be cleaned up.

Recently, I took a patient for a walk with a coworker. We chatted about the weather and looked out the window at the opening leaves and flowers. I cleaned the patient’s glasses and combed their hair. The person sat down after the walk and while we watched, died instantly. There was no warning, no cry, no pain, just sudden death. It made me glad that the last 15 minutes of life was spent in an agreeable way. If there was unresolved conflict in that life, there was no opportunity for resolution.

Can you find the single eaglet in the bottom left side of the nest?

We would choose to soar like eagles, living territorially above the grittiness of earth. But there are times when we must deal with conflict and death, putting our heads into the carcass of the past or present before moving ahead to better things.

Currently reading: Water to Wine by Brian Zahnd
Currently listening to: Illumination: Peaceful Gregorian Chants

May 10th

Grandma Devins was born 121 years ago on May 10, 1896. Her life and mine overlapped for over 30 influential years and a day seldom passes that I do not think of her. Her sister was born on May 10, 1908, on Grandma’s 12th birthday. I did not spend as much time with Great-aunt Dorothy as I did with Grandma but I have fond memories of her as well. She and her husband retired in Guadalajara Mexico and thus influenced members of my immediate family members who later moved to that country. In Mexico, Mother’s Day is always May 10th, no matter what day of the week it falls on. It is a holiday in many regions so people can spend the day with their families. Mom’s birthday was May 5th so everything fits tidily in this week. 

To honour all that this day means to me, the Becka and I had a lovely mother-daughter day making new memories while remembering moms, grandmas, aunts and sisters who are far away. Grandma loved birding, especially in May. We braved a cold east wind off Lake Ontario to look for birds around Burlington Bay, Ontario. Most of them were hiding, seeking shelter from the wind. 

Trumpeter Swans turned their heads away from the offshore breeze while trying to glean some warmth from the sun. This month has been cool and wet, slowing the growth of leaves and flowers. Masses of blooming trilliums in their ancient colonies would have flowered in the same way 121 years ago. Observing nature, one sees constant change as well as constancy. It is reassuring that spring follows winter year after year after year. 

We warmed up at Abigail's Tea House in the small hamlet of St George, where vintage bird-cage chandeliers and charming mismatched china table settings create a comfortable ambience. The family who own and run the tea house are friendly and chatty and serve delicious, well presented meals with the best of teas. Everything is made from scratch in the kitchen or next door in their bakery. Nothing in this small place appears to have changed in the past century. Grandma would feel right at home with the menu and service. 

Each spring I look for "Tree Face" in our nearby woods. Soon the growth of new leaves will hide the old, gnarled tree. The face looks more weather beaten this year but it still speaks of the past and its connection to new growth in the forest. And so I share Grandma's stories with my daughter, whose life overlapped great-grandma's by three short years. Connected to the past while changing and growing into the future, the family links remain strong. 


Currently reading: The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben
Currently listening to: As Time Goes By played by Beegie Adair